A Journey of Emotions in Times of Conflict

In the midst of what would become 'A Journey of Emotions in Times of Conflict' reflecting on compassion and conscience, I was enjoying my autumn holiday in the enchanting coastal Adriatic when the war broke out in the complex historical, cultural terrain of Middle East. Yes, I referred to it as 'war' at that time. We were there to celebrate my son's birthday, enjoying the festivities without realizing how swiftly the situation would escalate into a tragic conflict. I found myself torn between emotions, feeling a deep sorrow for the countless children being killed, knowing that I had travel plans for the upcoming week. Being involved in content creation in the travel space, it created a significant internal conflict. While major corporations and governments played a role in the ongoing conflict and loss of lives, I couldn't help but feel a sense of guilt about continuing with my personal plans in a profession that aims to provide information and purpose to others. I wasn't the government, I wasn't one of the corporations fueling the conflict, but yet here I was feeling sensitive about the whole situation at hand. I grappled with the moral question of whether it was justifiable to carry on with my business and share travel stories on my blog and social media handles while an entire community was enduring such devastating hardships.

Preserve our lands and people and children.

I returned from my vacation, and by then, the term 'genocide' had replaced 'war'. What I encountered in my reading and viewing was deeply disturbing – my heart aching for the children who were being killed, whole neighborhoods reduced to rubble, hospitals targeted, and desperate pleas for assistance. And I felt numb and frustrated. Frustration brimming from a place of complete blind faith in humanity. In my naivety, I had placed trust in what I was told. I never delved into historical documents, refrained from watching documentaries, and never made the effort to understand the ongoing conflict, despite being aware of its existence. When the war erupted, I had already grown weary. I was tired of hearing about conflicts in my own country, the catastrophic Russia-Ukraine war, the senseless school shootings in USA, the constant stream of negativity from media outlets, the challenging migrant crisis in Europe and many more. How privileged I am, right? I thank my stars for the privilege of being able to feel weary and switch off when necessary. However, I must confess, it all became overwhelming. At that point, I received advice to take a break and not dwell on it for the sake of my own sanity. I took the time to reconnect with friends and enjoy the festivities around the corner. Did I feel a pang of guilt when I found myself enjoying these moments of happiness? Despite having a clear conscience and knowing where I stood, why did I feel undeserving of celebrating my own Hindu festival? It's a complex emotion to grapple with, as we question our own right to joy and celebration amidst the challenges faced by others. Personally, I can't help but feel a twinge of guilt when I dress up my children in Halloween costumes and take them for parties. However, I often question whether it is fair to hold them little innocent ones responsible for any perceived wrongdoing. Frequently, I am reminded that my family and I bear no responsibility for the ongoing conflict, and I should prioritize my mental well-being. While I'm grateful for their support, it's simpler to turn a blind eye, yet challenging to completely disregard the situation. While I and my children deserve all the happiness and should enjoy the celebrations and joyful moments, it's hard to fully embrace this happiness when I'm aware that children in other parts of the world are suffering. Their happiness is just as valid, and no one should stand in the way of their celebrations and moments of joy.

I unequivocally condemn all forms of terrorism and believe that it's unjust for any human to suffer due to the actions of another. But by that point, the narrative of the 'oppressor' and the 'oppressed' was firmly established. The narrative of terrorism was diminishing. When I returned, I delved deeper into the subject, immersing myself in reading and transforming my half-baked knowledge into a solid understanding. As time passed, the true colors of individuals began to emerge, and I was no longer blind to the nuances. I started to noticed people who were in complete disregard for historical facts and ongoing acts of brutality and massacre. Are they deliberately insensitive, or do they simply lack the empathy to comprehend the suffering endured by others? I feel guilty for remaining silent. I want to truly know - do you find yourself compelled to divert your attention and prioritise your mental well-being while innocent individuals, including men, women, and children, are losing their lives every minute? Silence speaks volumes. Often, it seems that some individuals only take action when their own lives are affected. I hope these same people can stand up for themselves when faced with adversity. I wonder about the whereabouts of these so called “social activists” and "influencers" who typically advocate for mental health, human rights and child trauma, but now seem to be silent? Where are these individuals who have often spoken out? Their silence is deafening and witnessing their silence can be disheartening, and it raises doubts about their authenticity and consistency. The overwhelming absence of their voices is hard to ignore.

I worry that the current oppression will have long-lasting consequences for future generations. Humans may forgive, but they don't forget, and it's only a matter of time before those responsible for their actions face the consequences of their deeds. History has shown that oppressors were once oppressed themselves, and one would hope they'd learn from it, but sadly, they often find themselves on the wrong side of history.

Final Thoughts.

I am grateful for leading a normal life, with the privilege of having access to food and shelter. I do believe there are many who share this sentiment and it can be difficult to reconcile our own fortune with the struggles faced by others. But am I doing enough for those innocent children at least? I frequently find myself overwhelmed by a sense of helplessness, unsure of how to contribute beyond simply observing and absorbing the tragedies unfolding around me. I am torn between enjoying quality time with my loved ones and being haunted by thoughts of devastation and despair in another part of the world. With that I also fear about the future of our world, for our children after we are no longer here. I sincerely hope that humanity's compassion and empathy will prevail, and that we will all embrace a harmonious coexistence.

I am sorry I am unable to do anything. I pray to save God's children. I pray for peace.

I apologise if this content isn't relevant to you, but I won't apologize for speaking my truth. I'll act and express myself in accordance with my conscience, and if that doesn't align with your views, then I understand. I'm willing to risk friendships and sleepless nights, but I can't comprehend anyone being comfortable with the senseless bullying, slaughter and massacre of innocent lives anywhere around the globe. Live, Love, Let Live and Love Harder.